Diaries of the Heartbroken
by Rini-Rose
Summary: YAOI - Gaara x Neji. Gaara observes his one love, Neji Hyuga, from afar. When they finally connect, Gaara thinks the sparks fly. What is the silken haired boys thinking?


_June 3__rd__, 2010_

_Dear Diary,_

_ I saw him again today. Him with his long and flowing chocolate hair, the texture of corn silk. His eyes white as the moon, with just the palest dab of lavender in those depths. His porcelain skin that fit his sensual form perfectly, over those taut and perfect muscles, down his lean and perfect body. He's just. . . perfect. _

_Gaara_

_June 6__th__, 2010_

_Dear Diary,_

_ I saw him again today! He's so beautiful, his perfectly white teeth glinting in that amazing smile! He just makes me want to swoon. (Geez I feel like such a girl) I just keep imagining his coral colored lips gliding over mine, his arms holding me close as we just fall together. _

_ I think he noticed me! I was running with my paint supplies and tripped. Everything flew everywhere and no one would help me pick the things up. I was so angry, tears pricking my eyes as I began the long job of cleaning up my stuff when someone bent down to help. Their long, lean hand held out my paint brushes, and when I looked up, I was looking right into _his_ eyes! _

_ He asked me if I needed help, and I said no. Why would I want his help? He would get paint and crap all over that beautiful face! I wouldn't have that! He insisted, and pretty soon we had finished and were standing. _

_ 'I'm Neji Hyuga. Who are you?' he smiled that amazing smile at me and my heart skipped a beat. 'Sabaku No Gaara.' Was my reply. He then waved, turning and said he would see me around. 'Bye Gaara.' I swear my heart stopped as I watched him walk gracefully away._

_ I think I'm in love._

_Gaara_

_June 21__st__, 2010_

_Dear Diary,_

_ God, how can he be so perfect? It should be a crime to be how Neji is. School has started here in Suna, and much to my surprise (and delight) Neji is in a ton of my classes. Who knew someone that beautiful could be as smart and kind as he is? Tenten, a girl in my class, dropped all her books today. Everyone but Neji walked past her, but he stopped and picked up her things for her, before handing them to her with a gorgeous smile, And then when the teacher asked a question, he was the only one who knew the answer! _

_ He even says hello to him in the hallway, waves, and walks with me to the classes we share. He is always striking up conversations, even though I won't normally talk. (Hey, I have an image to uphold) I think we may be friends. Just maybe._

_ He is so perfect. I'm falling hard for him!_

_Gaara_

_June 30__th__, 2010_

_Dear Diary,_

_ I want him so bad now, after what happened today. We were hanging out at the park, he was talking and I was listening. He has the most magical voice. Suddenly he turned to me, and said 'Gaara? Can I try something?' I was wary, but how could I say no? So he said 'Okay, close your eyes.' I did as I was instructed, my heart picking that time to sped up and try to jump out of my chest, my stomach doing gymnastics. _

_ Then he kissed me. No joke, he actually leaned in and pressed those lips I've been dreaming of to mine. It was long and gentle, a simple kiss that made me sigh. When we broke apart we looked into each other's eyes before looking away. We sat and talked quietly before we went our separate ways._

_ I'll admit it fully now. I'm in love with Neji Hyuga._

_Gaara_

_July 6__th__, 2010_

_Dear Diary,_

_ What have I done wrong? Neji has emailed me or called me or texted me since the kiss. To me it was magical, but was he not ready? I hope he's okay. _

_Gaara_

_July 9__th__, 2010_

_Dear Diary,_

_ Oh no, oh no, oh no! Something is seriously wrong. He's ignoring my calls, texts, and emails. Is he okay? I'm starting to panic! Why isn't he answering? I want to hear Neji's voice. I miss him, my heart longs for the one I love. _

_Gaara_

_July 25__th__, 2010_

_Dear Diary,_

_ YES! HE FINALLY ANSWERED MY CALL! He and I are going to meet at the park! Yes, finally! After pining for him for almost four weeks he and I are finally hanging out. I missed him so much my heart ached. I wonder if he'll kiss me again? I really hope he does. I think I'll tell him I love him today. Wish me luck._

_Gaara_

_July 25__th__, 2010_

_Dear Diary,_

_ Its all over. . . He wanted to hang out to tell me he thought about the kiss. He. . . didn't like it. Neji doesn't love me. He thanked me for loving him, he was flattered, but he wasn't interesting. It's all over. . . . ._

_ I feel like I'm in a tunnel I can't get out of. I-I don't know what to do. . . ._

_Heart Broken_

_August 3__rd__, 2010_

_Dear Journal,_

_ Today marks two months since I've known Gaara. Well, I suppose I should say knew. After Gaara and my talk on the 25__th__ of July, I never heard from him. HE disappeared. Then, I got the news he had committed suicide, he hanged himself from the tree in his backyard._

_ The funeral was a couple days ago. I didn't cry, not in public. But when I was alone I sobbed. Every tear I shed was of sadness and self loathing. Why did I lie to him? Maybe because I don't want to admit I'm gay. But I am, and its too late. He's gone forever._

_ God, I'm so stupid! I LOVED HIM! I-I miss him so much, I can't stand it. I wish things were different. . . ._

_Neji Hyuga_

_**xXx~Owari~xXx**_


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